Sunday, May 25, 2014

...Then Why Did You Even ASK?

Lately I've run into several cases of people who offer to do something or ask what we need for the new baby, and completely ignore my answer and turn around and do what THEY feel like doing without taking into account my wishes at all, and I'm getting pretty fed up with it.

For example somebody recently emailed me to ask what supplies we want for the new baby.  How nice!  I replied and explained that since we're about to move and our space is extremely limited, we really only need the bare essentials (diapers, bottles, car seat, stroller, etc).  They emailed me back and basically said they intended to do what they had been planning on doing all along, which suffice it to say is NOT in the 'bare essentials' category and is something I'll probably never in a million years use.

Ok..........  If you knew what you were going to do, why ask me?  Just do it.  That would be completely fine!

It's once you go through the (apparently empty) motions of asking for a preference and then flagrantly disregarding whatever I say that's the problem. Especially when I give a careful explanation backing my response.

And this is just one isolated incident.  For some reason, this seems to be happening left and right recently.

First of all, I immediately sound like a raging asshole for complaining about anything when somebody is offering to do something for us or getting us a present.

Second of all, I have no polite recourse when dealing with people who employ this tactic.  When somebody ignores me I can't respond and say "Excuse me, but I just told you something completely different."

There's just no 'good girl' option - I simply have to swallow my irritation and let it go.

And you know what?  That's fine the first time or two.  But after it happens again and again and again, it gets a lot harder to just keep my mouth shut and cram my feelings of irritation deeper and deeper.

If anybody has suggestions for how to politely maneuver through these tricky social situations without resorting to being a complete jerk, I would welcome the advice.

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